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So it's finally come to this... A point in my life where I'm questioning what have I done to get to this place I currently find myself standing, wanting to make sense of an emotion that was so naturally built into my being from day one. But now, I am not too sure if it exists or ever did exist.

Before you read any further, I thought I just clarify you won't be finding me talking about the performance of Will and Jayden Smith in the film: The Pursuit of Happiness. The title of the film and this post is purely coincidental.

This year has been to what I can only describe as: turbulent. The complete opposite to what it should have been. It was going to be a year of pastures new. A seed of great things to come was planted, watered on a daily basis and nurtured to flourish into the start of something quite beautiful. Alas, like the state of my lawn it’s very much the case where no matter how much hard graft is invested to transforming something withered to greener pastures, it morphs back to its original state as nature intended. Some things cannot be changed.

Why do I write this? That I do not know. Maybe writing my inner thoughts into words to stare back at me in its raw unforgiving form is the only way to come to terms with what I am facing. Let's call it: therapy.

I look at my life and think I am a lucky person. I have nothing to complain about, yet I feel something missing. As one day ends and another begins, I find myself wondering what I am trying to accomplish and questioning if I am doing everything in my power remedy the wounds still open from earlier this year. Honest answer: probably not. Yesterday, I thought about what Friedrich Nietzsche said:

If you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you.

By not confronting the wounds of yesterday, I'm consumed by being reminded of the painful events that has wedged itself deep into my hippocampus. Slowly eroding away my old self. But there is just enough for the small part of me that still exists to warn me that I am slowly edging mentally to the point of no return. So I am here writing this very post.

If I don't start the healing process now, what I fear the most may come into fruition - others around me will notice the gaping hole where my left ventricle used to be. I have come to the conclusion that I'm not so good at being the great pretender over a considerable duration of time.

With every letter I type I slowly regain consciousness and become self aware once again, coming to the realisation that this year has changed me. No doubt about that. But I'm stronger for it.

If a human being thoughts and emotions is truly boundless, then it's in our nature to have the capacity to forgive, forget and learn. By doing this, I can only hope the resulting outcome will be... happiness. In time this will happen. As they say "time is a great healer". I take great comfort in that.

My bookshelf was really in the need of a good clear out. Out of all the books I own, I noticed that I seem to have more technical/programming books compared any other form of book. I guess this makes me your typical nerd with the high interest of anything programming related. Then again, my blog posts may already show that.

As I peruse through my vast collection, I can't help but get in the mood to reminisce back at a time where I was still trying to find my feet in the coding world. I am reminded of the confusing and somewhat challenging journey as a student at Oxford Brookes University, where I was trying to get a grip on the fundamentals of programming by sinking my teeth into books about Pascal, Delphi and C++.

It was only when carrying out my year long dissertation that I had a profound interest in Web Development as well as Microsoft development frameworks in general. This is probably the point in my life where my programming book purchases soared drastically. As you can see from my collection of my books in this post, two things are noticed:

1. How out dated the subject matter is. Yes, there is a Classic ASP book in there.
2. The thickness of each book. I think JavaScript Bible is probably the thickest!

The last programming book I purchased was around three years ago - C# In Depth by Jon Skeet. This was the first book purchase I made in a very long time after studying because I needed to up my game as well as to demonstrate my C# prowess. I generally use developer blogs and forums to expand my knowledge to all my never ending questions.

So this leads me to the question that I will just throw out there. What is a better method to learning? Books or online resources?

I think our way of learning has changed over the past few years and I don't think our old friend "the book" is as prominent as it once was as a learning aid, especially when there are far more accessible and interactive ways of learning.

Pluralsight + Microsoft Virtual Academy + StackOverflow = My Learning Heaven

Lets take training via Pluralsight as a fine example. Since registering, I find myself having the ability to learn on demand at my own choosing. I am not restricted to lugging a thick programming book around as (believe or not!) I once did. The flexibility of multiple learning paths guides me to all the courses I need to be proficient in a subject all from the comfort of a laptop, phone or tablet. In addition, unlike book purchases that will inevitably go out of date, you will access to all latest content at no extra cost. Big bonus!

Pluralsight alongside Microsoft Virtual Academy (if you're a .NET Developer) is the most powerful learning resource a developer could have. As much as my argument is swaying more towards the paperless approach, there is nothing like having the satisfaction of flicking through pages of a book. I don't think I could completely empty my book shelf of all programming books. I have just too many timeless classics that I could never give away and will always go back to reach for, one of them being Code Complete.

I came across an insightful article by Caroline Myrberg called: Screen vs. paper: what is the difference for reading and learning?, where she writes an interesting piece on what recent research had to say about addressing the issues of the learning processes involved in reading on screen compared to on paper. Surprisingly, there isn't much of a substantial difference in the how we are able to absorb information regardless of medium. It's all about how information is presented to us. The article highlights a study where participants completed a knowledge test of 24 questions after one group were given learning material in paper format and another on an interactive web page. The outcome:

...the web page group scored better on 18 of those questions, and significantly better (90% or higher) on six. So enhancing the electronic text instead of just turning it into a copy of the printed version seems to have helped the students to score higher on the test.

I think this is why online learning like Pluralsight works so well! At the same time, there will always be a need for books. No matter how far technology continues to immerse ourselves on a daily basis. We as human-beings relate towards things that are tangible - physical objects we hold and touch. It's our default behavior and the way we're wired. But you can't help and embrace the massive leaps in technology, making access to learning resources more convenient then it ever has been.

...who hasn’t created a new open-source plugin/library, answered many posts on StackOverflow (as much as I’d like to!), made an active contribution to Github, created a Pluralsight course, or coded something beautiful on CodePen.

How very selfish of me.

But what I do know is that this doesn’t make me any less of a developer. I have the capability to translate something in it’s infancy to truly something awesome that I am confident I will be very much proud of. I think as a developer that's quite easy to lose sight of - I know I feel that way. Just throw a problem or project my way and I’ll do it.

Would I like to have the capability to everything I stated in my first sentence? Yes! Who wouldn’t? I look at my experienced peers (to whom I refer to as “the greats”) in pure admiration and hoping one day I will have the capacity to contribute to the programming world as they do.

As I gaze back at my 8 years in the programming world, one thought comes to mind: I should be doing more. Thoughts like these is was what separates us from just being good at what we do to something much much more.

I can totally relate to the this song right now: The Shins - It's Only Life.

NOTE: I write this post as a person who just appreciates the Star Trek movie franchise. Not as a massive fan.

Star Trek has always had a special place in my heart for as long as I can remember. The moment I sat down with my Dad and watched Star Trek III: Search for Spock with fresh new eyes, I was instantly grabbed by the action, ships, characters and vastness of space. It didn't take me long to understand the basic premise of the show even if I didn't completely understand the plot points.

I've dabbled in and out of the franchise over the years. But ever since the reboot in 2009, I have gained a renewed interest and started to look back at the classic movies with much fondness and appreciation. I truly admire how clever and gripping they were. Of course, there are some bad eggs when it came to the sequels (I'm talking about you Star Trek V!), nevertheless, they always managed to have memorable scenes.

Thoughts On The New Trek

I thought the reboot was off to a great start (no matter what the naysayers say), JJ Abrams managed to give Star Trek the kick in the butt it (quite frankly!) needed and looked forward to many more adventures with the characters I have grown to love. Star Trek became exciting again!

Four years later, we were given Star Trek Into Darkness and I remember leaving the cinema quite satisfied. But after I let the film digest within my subconscious, I started to pick holes in the storyline and came to the conclusion the highly anticipated sequel didn't actually offer anything new. It felt like a remake of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn pure and simple, a film that I will always hold dear to my heart. A film that contains themes of revenge, coming of age, friendship and sacrifice.

So what's wrong with the current incarnation of Star Trek?

1) Lack of Continuity Between Films

One of the finest moment of the original films for me was the continuity between films that had an underlying theme that linked them together. Of course, I am talking about movies II - IV. It was quite satisfying seeing the characters develop and grow based on the decisions made from the previous films.

You might be thinking: What am I complaining about? The current reboot hasn't had a chance to grow yet?

Valid point. However, I believe this is something the writers could have done already. Planted the seed to grow in future adventures.

2) The Length of Time Between Sequels

The main problem with the Star Trek franchise is the length of time between installments. The films need to be out more frequently. Currently, the length of time between films is 4 years. This is too long, especially if a film hasn't been as strong in the story department, nor met the expectations of fans. I think it's safe to say Into Darkness was not embraced as positively when compared to the 2009 film.

What impact does this have? A big one. The momentum just disappears and the franchise has the added pressure of having to re-establish itself again to the public.

As it stands, the cast, designs and production are all delivered to a very high standard. But if the likes of Paramount spend too long about the story they wish to tell, they really need to get better script writers and directors with a coherent vision.

Come on Paramount! Pull your finger out!

3) Bring Writers In Who Aren't Fans of The Trek-lore

Some of the best Trek have come from people who aren't avid fans of the world of Star Trek. They have the ability to take a step back in order to create a unique and interesting vision. They take important facets of the characters and then weave Star Trek into the story.

I personally would love to see Nicholas Meyer have the opportunity to write the next installment. Now that would be something to look forward to!

4) Retreading The Same Ground

For those who have watched Star Trek in film or TV form and made a comparison with the current Trek movies, you would get a sense of deja-vu. As I've briefly stated above, there doesn't seem to be anything new being brought to the screens that we haven't already seen before, which is a little disappointing for the Trek veterans.

Into Darkness could have been the film to show something new and original. Retreading old ground in a universe purely built to tell new stories was never going to go down well.

5) No More Spock Prime

I loved seeing Leonard Nimoy reprise his role as Spock Prime in the 2009 reboot. It was pure genius and managed to make a connection with all previous films so that they still remained relevant. This was probably a ploy to get buy in from the proper Star Trek fans. I for one appreciated the sentiment.

However, it was unnecessary bringing him back for a brief appearance in Into Darkness and dare I say...a little cringe worthy.

Final Thoughts

There is so much to explore in the Star Trek universe and the formula to get Star Trek right is not as complex as it may seem. The script writers need to take a good hard look at what made the original films so successful (without plagiarising!) and make us a Trek film where no one has gone before...

In one word: No.

I've been an Experts Exchange user on and off over the last few years and always re-registered my Experts Exchange account, at times, out of pure desperation in the hope that a complex question of mine could be answered.

If I look back at all the questions I've asked throughout the year whilst being a fully paid member, the responses (or solutions as Experts Exchange call it) are by far not detailed enough for the price you pay. There have been many times when I've been very patiently waiting for some kind of response to my problem for days and even when highlighting to the moderator numerous times to get an expert to look into my issue, they seem to fail at the first hurdle...

If Experts Exchange was truly the forum where all these so called "experts" reside, they should have no problem in resolving or if not at least assisting me to a relevent solution. Majority of the time its hit or miss to whether an answer I could either find an answer from their "vast" knowledge-base.

The major problem I do have with Experts Exchange is that there is no refund policy and the customer support staff don't seem at all bothered by the fact that (in my case) four of my questions were not responded to. They are unable to see that you are paying them a service to do one thing: assist YOU!

Experts Exchange really need to rethink their pricing model considerably for the true service they provide. This has become ever so apparent since the dawn of a widely used and popular StackOverflow Q&A forum where I find the response rate higher.

Of course, I can only speak about my own experience and Experts Exchange is probably a great resource for others who are employed in a different sector of the IT industry. It all comes down to the expert answering your question. Some are really good, some not so good...

Unfortunately, it's unable to fulfil my needs. I've learnt my lesson and will not be renewing my subscription after my last cancellation.

Back in the day, there was a need for a paid service like Experts Exchange. But that's long since passed.

Today, an article that (for some reason or another) resonated with me from yester-year popped up in in my news feed: The well known "Burning Platform" memo written by Stephen Elop - at a time when Nokia's future was uncertain. It describes Nokia's troubles as an oil rig on fire and radical changes will need to be made to ensure the company can continue to succeed in years to come.

As I look back at this infamous memo, I'm reminded how Elop manages to grab your attention in an artistic and well written way. I am instantly able to relate exactly to dire circumstances the CEO and it's workers face.

For those who don't know what I am talking about, here's an excerpt:

There is a pertinent story about a man who was working on an oil platform in the North Sea. He woke up one night from a loud explosion, which suddenly set his entire oil platform on fire. In mere moments, he was surrounded by flames. Through the smoke and heat, he barely made his way out of the chaos to the platform’s edge. When he looked down over the edge, all he could see were the dark, cold, foreboding Atlantic waters.

As the fire approached him, the man had mere seconds to react. He could stand on the platform, and inevitably be consumed by the burning flames. Or, he could plunge 30 meters in to the freezing waters. The man was standing upon a “burning platform,” and he needed to make a choice.

He decided to jump. It was unexpected. In ordinary circumstances, the man would never consider plunging into icy waters. But these were not ordinary times – his platform was on fire. The man survived the fall and the waters. After he was rescued, he noted that a “burning platform” caused a radical change in his behaviour.

We too, are standing on a “burning platform,” and we must decide how we are going to change our behaviour.

...

Amongst the number of services Google provides, iGoogle portal has to be at the top of my list. It’s my one stop shop for daily news, weather forecasts and playing the odd game. I was surprised when Google announced they will discontinue the service from November 2013. I was reminded by the deadline on my iGoogle page today, reinforcing that this is going to happen. I was hoping Google would reconsider but it doesn’t look like that's going to happen.

Google’s decision to discontinue iGoogle in my opinion is a little rash. They claim: “With modern apps that run on platforms likeChromeandAndroid, the need for something like iGoogle has eroded over time”. And this is where the problem lies. Why does everything nowadays have to evolve around an app? Some things are best left accessible through a browser.

I like getting to work in the mornings and gazing over the days topics. It’s bloody informative! I’ve yet to find an app that matches what iGoogle offers. iGoogle is a one page where everything is displayed without having to click to another page. Google Chrome's substitutes require me to do exactly that. Big waste of time.

I’m not the type of person to be concerned about change and in most cases I welcome it with open arms. But this will take a little time to get use to.

Goodbye old friend, you’ll be sorely missed!

Today I came across this really interesting tweet on my Twitter timeline today:

Read about why we’re deleting our Facebook page: facebook.com/limitedpressin… — Limited Run (@limitedrun) July 30, 2012

Limited Run, posted on their Facebook profile stating that they would be deleting their account due to the amount Facebook is charging for clicks on their advertising. Here’s the interesting part: About 80% of the clicks Facebook charged Limited Run, JavaScript wasn't on. And if the person clicking the ad doesn't have JavaScript, it's very difficult for an analytics service to verify the click. Only 1-2% of people going to their site have JavaScript disabled, not 80% like the clicks coming from Facebook.

Interesting stuff.

Before Limited Run takes down their Facebook profile, I’ve attached a screenshot of their post below:

Reading this post today reminded me on a news article I read on “virtual likes” and how advertising through Facebook doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be any better off. It all comes down to the level of engagement user’s have with a profile page. If users are just liking the page and not interacting with your posts or general content, those likes are worth nothing. Some companies are wising up to the effectiveness of Facebook’s advertising strategy.

Limited Run isn’t the first to ditch Facebook ad’s, General Motor’s pulled away from Facebook ad’s earlier this year due to the ad’s Facebook produce do not have the visual impact needed to justify the cost.

I think certain aspects of Facebook is a joke filled mostly of people looking for attention, not an effective marketing tool.

Ever since I decided to expand my online presence, I thought the best step would be to have a better domain name. My current domain name is around twenty-nine characters in length. Ouch! So I was determined to find another name that was shorter and easier to remember.

Ever since “.me” top level domain (TLD) came out, I snapped up “surinder.me”, partly because all other domains with my first name were gone (you know who you are!) and the “.me” extension seemed to fulfil what I wanted my website to focus on. ME! Having said that, I would have loved to get a “.com” domain, but I guess that’s what happens when you enter the online world so late.

I was ready to move over all my content to “surinder.me” until one on my techy friends told me that things are still undecided when it comes to “.me” TLD’s in general. Originally, the “.me” extension was assigned to Montenegro’s locale only. But it’s fast gained traction over the years due to it’s simplicity and wide range of possible domain names. Even companies such as Microsoft, Facebook, Wordpress and Samsung rushed to register their “.me” domains. Hence the reason why I decided to get one.

Companies seem to be using “.me” extensions for either URL shortening services or redirects to partner sites with “.com” extensions. It doesn’t fill me with much confidence when “.me” extensions are used this way. Google’s software engineer, Matt Cutts wrote a reassuring post on his Google+ profile earlier this year by stating:

“…regardless of the top-level domain (TLD). Google will attempt to rank new TLDs appropriately, but I don't expect a new TLD to get any kind of initial preference over .com…If you want to register an entirely new TLD for other reasons, that's your choice, but you shouldn't register a TLD in the mistaken belief that you'll get some sort of boost in search engine rankings.”

This should put all my “.me” fears to rest…right? Well it’s nice to know Google won’t penalise a site based on an extension. In the world of web, a search optimised site is king (as it should be). It’s nice that Google have given “.me” (as a country extension) global status given the nature of how its been used of late. But if you check Google’s Geotargetable Domains article, the text in brackets worries me.

I get the feeling you can’t go wrong with a “.com” domain providing you can find something meaningful to your cause. Steps are being made in the right direction for gccTLD’s. For example, Webmaster Tools gives you the option to geographically target your “.me” site. However, I can’t find anything concrete to alleviate my concerns in the long-run.

So where does this leave me? Well, we’ll just have to find out if my future domain contains a .me extension.